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Boosting Self Esteem In Children

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Self-esteem refers to a person's evaluation or appraisal of his or her worth, characteristics and capability. Having high self-esteem means one has a good opinion of oneself. Self-esteem is largely developed during one's childhood. High self-esteem children are more likely to grow up to become high self-esteem adults and the high self-esteem will make them more successful in school and workplace. They are also less likely to get depressed in life.

To boost self-esteem in your child, you should accept who he is at this stage and should not expect something too difficult for your child to achieve. Not only that, you should also help your child to accept who he is. When he grows up in a world where he is accepted, it will give him the confidence to learn new things and grow.

That said, parents should step back and allow their child to take healthy risks, make their own choices, develop problem-solving skills and the resilience to complete what they set out to achieve.

Praise them appropriately

It is easy for parents to over-praise their child in a bid to boost their confidence. Self-esteem should stem from real competence and parents should help in increasing their children's competence. Over-praising them when they have not achieved their full potential or tried hard enough may be discouraging them to progress further and be complacent as they think they are good enough. One tip for parents is that praising them for their results sparingly when they truly meant it and focus on praising them for the effort they put in and their resilience to bounce back from failures. Always tell them that there is room to do it better than before.

Furthermore, never praise them by saying that they are the best. Reassure your child that you love him or her because of how hardworking and resilient they are.

Let go of their hand and let them fail

Don't be afraid that failures will destroy your child's self-esteem. Instead, letting them fail and think of solutions or remedies to resolve the situation can cultivate the independence and confidence in them. It will also allow them to make their own choices and take responsibility for what they had chosen to try and do.

For instance, if they want to attempt making a cup of honey drink, give them the go-ahead to do it. Even if they are about to spill the honey and water all around the countertop and make a mess, try not to stop them. After the failure, allow them to clean it up by themselves. The failure is just an experience which is worth it as they had taken charge of his own decision and resolved their own problem, all without the help of an adult. This increases their self-esteem and if maintained as such, it will continue in the long run as well.

Let them do the household chores

Ask your children to do simple household chores starting from bringing their own soiled diaper to the bin to cleaning the table after their meal and then, to sweeping the floor. Allowing them to contribute is the first step to making them feel useful, confident and competent. Remember to thank them after so they feel that their work is recognized and appreciated.

Don't have overly high expectations of your child

Having too high an expectation for your children's ability and level may destroy their confidence and make them think they are not cut out for a certain activity or skill. Hence, give them exercises or puzzles that suit their age. Know your children's weaknesses. If they feel that their drawing skill is bad, give them simple designs for them to follow to boost their confidence in that subject. No one is naturally good at something and perhaps with a good start, they might take to liking drawing and get better at it.

Set aims for your child

Be a guiding light to them by setting some progressive goals for them to work towards to. By leading and pushing them appropriately towards the subsequent goals, it will be easier for them to achieve higher goals and get a greater sense of achievement and self-esteem.

Encourage them to complete challenges

Even as adults, how many times have we given up halfway on a new endeavour or journey of learning a new skill? It is important to cultivate the kind of perseverance in your children since young. It can be as simple as finishing a book, completing a walk or hike to the best scenery and completing a sudoku puzzle. This will allow them to experience the sense of accomplishment, develop the habit of not stopping even when they are met with failures, doubts about themselves and always trying their best to complete something challenging.

Focus on the strengths of your child

Different children have different strengths. Discover their strengths, be it art, sports, dance or singing and give them the opportunity to develop them. This will give them the sense of accomplishment and greater confidence. However, always encourage them to try learning skills that they are not good with at first and tell them that it is okay to fail as they can learn from the failure and get progressively better each time.

Avoid shaming your child or labeling him or her negatively

It is normal for children to misbehave or refuse to try harder at times. When they do so, quickly correct their behaviour and avoid berating or shaming your child in the fit of anger. This includes saying how they are always behaving badly and never listens to the parents, harping on the previous times which they were naughty or lazy. This is unfair as they might not always behave badly, and they are times when they are obedient and hardworking.

If this becomes a habit, they might think they are incorrigible and since this is already so, some would continue with their bad behaviour as they are no longer scared of and feel numb towards your accusations of how they are always behaving badly or lazy. Others may feel that they have lost an affirmation and validation from you and there is no way to earn it. Either way, it is not a good space for your child to grow emotionally.



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