A common worry among parents is how to ensure that their toddler eats well and adequately. This is especially when it is normal toddler behaviour for them to be picky. Yet, eating sufficiently during mealtimes is important to ensure that they are getting the necessary nutrients for them to grow and develop well.

In this article, we provide parents with tips on how they can ensure their children eat their meals and cultivate healthy eating habits in them.

Give them choices

Let them choose whatever foods they like in the supermarket in a specific aisle (eg. pasta) and once they have chosen a particular one, tell them to take ownership and responsibility in their choice and after you buy it for them, they must eat it later. They will feel happy in getting to eat what they want (in that specific aisle or between two or three types) instead of having everything laid out for them. Remember – always give them choices, but limit the choices.

Another example is when offering veggies to them, ask them whether they want broccoli or cauliflower.

Involve them in the preparation of meals

Children are more likely to eat the foods that they have a part in preparing because they feel a sense of pride and thrill at eating something that they have created. You can find ways to involve them in cooking the meal, such as washing the veggies, garnishing the dish and helping you to stir a mix. Rather than sticking to mundane dishes all the time, add some creative and healthy snacks that you can create together with them.

Some meal ideas to make together with your children include sweet potato mash shaped into “mooncakes”, steam cakes, pancakes topped with fruits, wanton (dumplings), tang yuan (glutinous rice balls), spring rolls and salads. Let them roll their own tang yuans with their little palms or wrap the wantons for you. Don’t be afraid to let your children prepare these foods, even though they will definitely make a mess out of it. Their interest in eating different types of foods will increase and the possibility of different combinations will excite them to want to try other foods they have never tried before.

Have fun with meals

Mealtimes do not always have to involve going to the table and eating what is prepared for them. Occasionally, make eating seem like a desirable activity by injecting fun into it. Introduce a “hands-on activity” in meals, such as creating their own popiah (fresh spring roll) with the popiah spread, taking as many ingredients as they want and putting it into their popiah and have them to eat it by themselves.

If you are afraid of the mess, have them wear the oldest dark-coloured clothes to save yourself from scrubbing away the aftermath. When children are having fun and the power to do whatever they want with their food (with limits, of course), they wouldn’t complain at all. Of course, you and the other adults at the dinner table must show them how to wrap their own popiah by example, and guide them if needed.

Apart from an interesting popiah meal, other meal ideas include letting them cut their own cookies, spread their steam cakes with jam, make muesli and oats with milk, take the side dishes and put it on their own plate and making their own salad with the ingredients laid out for them.

Be a role model

Children often imitate their parents or older sibling in what they do, including eating. If they see that you are eating a variety of healthy foods happily, they will want to try them as well. Hence, try not to be picky in front of your children and show that you enjoy eating.

Let them be mentally prepared for mealtime

Children are also more comfortable with routines and predictability as they need to feel mentally prepared for changes just like adults. When they are too excited to play and don’t feel like eating, setting regular mealtimes and telling them it is time to eat in a few minutes before mealtime will give them a chance to transition into mealtime after playtime. Set regular meal times so that they know they must eat at a certain time and there are no excuses to play past the mealtime.

Don’t give your children snacks too often

The guideline is for children to have 3 meals and 2 snacks in a day. This is because toddlers don’t usually eat enough in one meal to remain full until the next meal time. Hence, you can offer them healthy snacks in between meals, but take note to not offer them too close to mealtime. If your children are already full from a snack, they would not have the appetite or interest to eat the next meal.

If the next meal is several hours away, it is fine to offer a snack, but not when it is an hour away.

Some healthy snacks that you can give them are yoghurt cups, apple slices, blueberries, grapes cut in half, lean meat and whole-grain bread with cheese or peanut butter, thin cucumber sticks and sweet potato cubes.

In addition, right before the meal, you should avoid serving fluids such as juices and milk because they can fill up your children’s stomachs easily. Instead, you can serve it after the meal.

Don't give your children too much to eat

“Less is more” is indeed true when it comes to serving portions for your children. The trick to making them want more is to serve small portions and giving them the chance to ask for more. Place small, appropriate portions on their plate, with the rule of thumb being 1 tablespoon for each kind of food for each year of the children’s age. This is excluding the carbohydrate base of the meal. Give them just 3 slices of apple and ask them if they want more, and you will be surprised that they will nod at you for more.

One tip is also to always check with them if a certain food is enough for them, such as “Is the pasta enough for you?” and “I made the pasta portion just right for you, do you like it?”. This shows that you respect their preferences and are giving them the autonomy to decide. By asking them, they will feel respected instead of forced and stick to their own judgement that the portion is just right for them. Thus, they will likely finish their food.

Don’t force your children to finish everything

If they are no longer hungry, they should be allowed to stop eating. Forcing them to eat when they are already full will just make them detest eating. In fact, making them eat when they are not hungry can interfere with their natural internal cues that tell them they are full and should stop eating. Hence, you should teach them to listen to their body so as to prevent over-eating in the future, such as of their favourite type of food.

Let them concentrate on eating

A lot of parents whip out the phones, Youtube videos, cartoon serials or remote controls during mealtime just so they can keep their children entertained enough to sit down quietly throughout the meal, not run around and finish up the food on their plates. While this is understandable and probably the last resort to prevent them from running around and playing instead of eating, this is ultimately a bad choice to feed your children.

Firstly, they are not paying attention to the tastes of the food, which makes the food become unimpressionable and almost tasteless to them. As a result, eating becomes a routine activity that is merely a hindrance to their favourite playtime and they will not be able to find out what foods they like or have a chance to be interested in them. The lack of interest in eating starting from the early years will cause them to be picky and eat less than the amount of nutrients needed to fuel their body.

Secondly, they will develop a reliance towards the forms of entertainment put in front of them every time they eat. Without it, they will throw up a fuss and refuse to eat. Not only is the problem of lack of interest in eating and refusing to eat enhanced, you have also given them a hold over you where they can use the needing to eat as a bribe to get what they want.

Hence, parents should not use entertainment as a means to make their children eat. This must be consistent and imposed right at the start of introducing food to them. When it is mealtime, switch off the television and put away all toys. Eat at the designated dining area and not anywhere else and they should remain sitted at all times. Implementing this right at the start is important as it will be easier for you compared to giving them the opportunity to play for once and finding it difficult to correct the behaviour after.

This is because when a rule is imposed at the start, naturally, they would barely question why it is imposed. But when a rule is imposed after some time, they would question why it can’t be like before when the rule was not imposed and would want to resume the previous behaviour no matter what.

Don’t bribe or negotiate with them

Out of desperation, parents might bribe their children with desserts or sweet snacks in exchange for finishing the last few mouthfuls of the food on their plates. This is bad as it creates power struggles between you and your children, which is similar to the previous point about entertainment. It can teach them to make deals to get rewards for other things.

It can also create an unhealthy attitude towards sweets and treats, teaching them that they should want them and that they are foods of superiority and pleasure.

Increase your children’s daily activity

Encouraging children to be active throughout the day will make them will feel hungry easily. The feeling of hunger will prompt them to eat more in their next meal and be more interested in the food that is offered.

Be patient

Be patient especially when you serve your children with food that is not familiar to them. Most toddlers will refuse if you serve them new foods. This is normal for toddlers and you should not give up on the first try. You can make the unfamiliar foods tasty or mix it with other foods which are more familiar to them so it is not too intimidating.

Let them feed themselves

Babies as young as 6 months can feed themselves. They can work on steering a loaded spoon to the mouth, finger feeding and even drink from an open cup or straw. Allowing your children to feed themselves is beneficial for healthy infant development as it nurtures independence, teaches them body awareness and aids in their oral motor development and grasping skills.

Touching and feeling food, especially sticky, messy, wet foods, is a great way to fully engage baby’s senses in the process of eating. Furthermore, babies and toddlers crave autonomy and independence and will do everything to get it, ranging from tantrums, and defiance to other challenges to their parents’ patience. By giving children control over when they take a bite, how much they put in their mouths and when they are done eating, you have satisfied their innate “do it all by myself” desire.

Grabbing foods is also a great opportunity for them to refine their grasping and coordination skills. Letting babies learn to feed themselves will be messy, but the developmental rewards far outweigh the messes. With an adequate preparation - bibs, plates with suction to the table, a cloth or waste paper on the floor or mop nearby - you can minimize the mess and allow your child to fully experience mealtimes.

Don’t let your unhappiness show when they don’t eat

Even if you are concerned that your children refuse to eat, do not let it show or react in frustration and anger. This is because if you show that you are unhappy, they will learn that it is something they can use to seek attention the next time. Instead, be calm and set the rule right at the start that they should finish their food and at the table before proceeding to play or resume other activities.

Parents should also do the same and eat along with them. When they see that their parents and other adults are eating, they will want to eat as well. If they are pausing too often, simply say “eat your food” without explaining too much or threatening them with a punishment. Keep the mealtime process as natural as possible and it will be smooth.

All in all, if your children refuse to eat, the first thing to do is to stay calm and be patient. Next, you can eliminate all the possible distractions, make meals fun, increase their interest in different kinds of foods and give them the independence and power to make choices and feed themselves. Children are frequently hungry due to the small meals they take and hence, you will always have the opportunity to offer them tasty meals and snacks to increase their interest in eating. Don’t worry as your efforts will pay off in no time.