Tantrums in Children

Babyment

Tantrums are extremely common in toddlers and preschoolers. They're how young children deal with difficult feelings. Temper tantrums can be frustrating for any parent. But instead of looking at them as disasters, treat tantrums as opportunities for education.

They can involve spectacular explosions of anger, frustration, and disorganized behavior. You might see crying, screaming, stiffening limbs, an arched back, kicking, falling down, flailing about or running away.

Common causes of tantrum

An immature prefrontal cortex

The prefrontal cortex is a part of the brain that lies behind the eyebrow. Its function is to regulate emotion and controls social behavior. The prefrontal cortex only starts to mature at the age of four. Because of immature PFC, children fail to respond or imagine rationally when something is out of their understanding. This results in tantrums.

Immature limbic system

The limbic system is part of the brain that is responsible for controlling basic human emotions like fear, frustration, anger, and joy.

The immature state of the limbic system often makes toddlers confused and unable to express their emotions accurately, resulting in a tantrum.

Toddlers want control

Toddlers want independence and control over their environment more than they can actually handle. This can lead to power struggles as a child thinks "I can do it myself" or "I want it, give it to me." When kids discover that they can't do it and can't have everything they want, they may have a tantrum.

A way of communication

Often tantrums are the only way to communicate the toddler's feelings to the parent, due to the lack of necessary verbal skills. They may be trying to tell you that they are hungry, disappointed, tired, feeling sick, in pain, etc.

Attention or needs

The child may try to communicate their need through other cues, but when you fail to pay attention or understand them, they resort to tantrums to get your attention.

What trigger tantrums?

Discomfort or tiredness: Kids may throw tantrums when they are placed in uncomfortable or overwhelming situations such as noisy or crowded ambiance with too many unknown faces. They are more likely to throw tantrum when they are tired or hungry.

Confusion: Children get upset when a parent doesn't understand their cues or reacts with aggression, shouts or laughs at them. Children who have more than one caregiver struggle more as the parent and the other caregiver have a different response to their outbursts.

Inability to explain themselves: When the child is unable to tell you what they want, they feel helpless. They might throw a tantrum to unleash their frustration.

How to deal with child tantrums?

Instead of looking at them as disasters, treat tantrums as opportunities for education. Below are some tips that can help you to deal with child tantrum.

• Be firm: If the child is asking for something that is not to be given, be firm.
• Try to understand the reactions: When your child is trying to communicate with you, make an effort to understand what they are saying. Ask them several questions to make it easy for them to express their idea. This will reduce their frustration and calm them down.
• Don't pay attention: Try to take your attention away from him, so that you are not tempted to react rudely which can exacerbate the situation.
• Stay calm: Practice this at home, because staying calm is not easy and requires a lot of effort and patience. If the kid is throwing tantrums at a public space, hug him and carry him away from that place.
• Give them a choice: Give some options to your child, and tell them to choose the one they like the most. You can try out the options in food, the games they want to play or the activities they want to do. This way, your child feels reassured that their choice is being considered and not scuttled. Offering choices allows him to feel like he has some power.
• Do not allow violence: If your kid is screaming, hitting, kicking or throwing things, stop them immediately. Make it clear that violence is not acceptable. But make sure you are not violent in the process.

Avoiding tantrums

Try to prevent tantrums from happening in the first place, whenever possible. Here are some tips that may help.

• React early to signs. Very often, temper tantrums take place when your child is hungry, bored, or it is close to his normal sleeping time. Provide a snack if he or she seems to be hungry. Settle him down on the bed if it is time for him for sleep.
• Offer choice, but not an open-ended question. Your child wants to feel power and control over his little world. Offering choices allows him to feel like he has some power.
• Keep off-limits objects out of sight and out of reach. This makes struggles less likely.
• Distract your child. Take advantage of your little one's short attention span by offering something else in place of what they can't have. Start a new activity to replace the frustrating or forbidden one. Changing the environment by taking your toddler outside or inside or move to a different room may help also.
• Help kids learn new skills and become independent. Help kids learn to do things. Praise them to help them feel proud of what they can do. Also, start with something simple before moving on to more challenging tasks.
• Teach them to articulate themselves. Very often, your toddler feels frustrated when no one in the house understands what he wants. When your child has calmed down, you can teach him how to express himself correctly so that the same situation will not repeat.